Attending a funeral is a deeply personal and emotional experience. Knowing what to wear and what is deemed acceptable can be tricky. Your attire needs to reflect both dignity and compassion. The customs of funerals are constantly evolving, which can be overwhelming for many. This is a guide to help you navigate the traditional expectations as well as consider the deceased wishes.
Tradition vs Modernity
The role of colour –
Traditionally, black is the standardised colour for funeral attire. The colour black symbolises mourning and solemnity and is timeless. For many this is the default when picking what needs to be worn to attend a funeral .
The preference or wishes of some people are to wear the deceased’s favourite colour or alternative options that will be stated on the invitation.
If, however, it is not made clear, we would advise to always assume the dress code is smart and the colour black. If you think the family may have chosen a different dress code, please contact the family member or friend that is organising the funeral.
Cultural and Religious Expectations
In different religions and cultures there are different expectations that surround funeral ceremonies. Depending on the deceased’s beliefs, this could mean that your expectations may be separate from what you will need to wear for the funeral itself.
Often Christian funerals are modest, and traditionally this is where you would wear black. Jewish services sometimes require you to wear what is called a kippah. A kippah is a type of head covering that is worn when praying; do not worry if you yourself aren’t Jewish and do not own a kippah. More often than not, these will be provided at the ceremony.
Hindu or Buddhist ceremonies may involve the removal of shoes and/or wearing white. It is believed in these religions that white must be worn, as it symbolises purity and represents the soul making its journey to enlightenment.
Muslim funerals are typically modest and would entail the women covering their hair and body.
All of which depend on the planned funeral arrangements and how religious the family are. To reiterate, it is always best to double-check if you are unsure, as the individual organising the funeral will appreciate you wanting to be the most respectful you can possibly be.
General Traditional Guidelines for Funeral Wear
Comfort is key –
The funeral you are attending may require standing for long periods of time. This means ensuring you are comfortable in what you are wearing is key. Depending on the type of service, you may be outside occasionally, especially if you are witnessing the burial; therefore, make sure you have the correct layers with you so that you are prepared for any scenario. This could include taking a blazer or smart jacket. However, most of the time the majority of the service will be inside.
In regard to footwear, opting for shoes that are appropriate and that you are able to comfortably walk in is most suitable, especially if you are attending a graveside burial.
You want to look polished and understated. Wearing fabrics that are clean and ironed correctly will be the most respectful. You should always avoid wearing logos or clothing that has graphics or slogans on it; this is because it draws attention away from the service.
Accessorising with a simple watch and simple jewellery can help to make the outfit feel complete without disrupting the modest feel.
Recommendations for Men
A lot of men wear a suit; sticking to colours such as navy, black and dark grey is ideal. Dark brown could also be deemed appropriate. Shirts should always be ironed and clean, and avoiding bold patterns is the safest option. Shirts paired with a solid colour tie or a tie with a subtle pattern are appropriate. Choosing a material that suits you can help to elevate the outfit, whether this is silk, textured or matte.
Men’s shoes should be polished and clean. Oxfords or brogues in the colour black or brown are suggested. Matching your belt and socks to the shoes is important.
If you don’t have a suit, do not panic. A pair of tailored trousers and a dress shirt is more than appropriate. You can also rent suits from lots of retailers, which can be a more sustainable and cost-effective option.
If you are attending a funeral in the summer, you could wear linen trousers instead, but you should avoid shorts and sandal shoes.
Recommendations for Women
Wearing skirts and dresses can be timeless; however, ensure they are a modest length and cut. Knee length and below is deemed the most appropriate, and wearing no tighter than an A-line skirt is the best option. Trousers may be more comfortable for you and would need to again be muted tones and smart trousers. Wearing a top that is either a high neckline or V-cut ensures that decorum is maintained.
Footwear should include a closed-toe shoe, whether this is a flat shoe or a low heel. Ankle boots are also a great option, especially if the weather is cooler.
Accessorising with a small discreet bag is handy, and wearing delicate jewellery adds understated elegance.
To conclude, the most important thing is your presence; showing your respect and grieving the loss is paramount. Play it safe by staying formal, and if you are completely unsure , just ask. To find our more about funeral etiquette click here.
