It's very rare nowadays for people going to a funeral to be dressed entirely in black, although some people may think that bright clothing is not appropriate. Most people choose formal clothes like a suit, and men normally wear a black tie. The family organising the funeral may give specific instructions on what they would like people to wear at the funeral. The most important thing is to be comfortable and dress for the weather. Churches and cemeteries can be very cold in the winter.
Some religions expect your head to be covered, for example, at Greek Orthodox or Jewish ceremonies. Ask the funeral director for advice. If you want to wear a hat, that's fine.
The person arranging the funeral decides who will be in the car or limousines following the hearse. This is usually family and sometimes close friends. Most of the people going to the funeral will use their own cars and may choose to meet the procession where the service is being held.
Traditionally yes, but the procession can leave from the home of a close relative. The family may decide to leave from the address where people will return to after the funeral. Or, mourners may decide to meet at the place of service. If you are not sure, check with the family or the funeral director.
Yes, but toddlers and babies can be disruptive, especially if it's a long service. You can take older children if they want to go. It's a good idea to prepare them beforehand so they know what to expect.
This depends very much on local tradition and the family's personal choice. For example, in a church, mourners usually arrive and take their place before the service starts and then stand when the coffin is brought in, which is followed by the close family. At a crematorium it is more usual to enter after the chief mourners (family and close friends), who immediately follow the coffin. You should leave the front seats for the immediate family. As this will depend entirely on the family's decision, you should check with the funeral director.
Chief mourners usually sit at the front. Sometimes, if it is possible, the chief mourner or next of kin sits at the end of the pew next to the coffin. In a large church or chapel that is unlikely to be full, it's better not to sit at the back. The clergy may have difficulty in making themselves heard and the close family may feel isolated at the front.
At the end of the service the minister will leave and everyone should stand. At a church the coffin will be carried out. In a crematorium chapel the coffin may remain on view, be hidden by a curtain or be lowered. The chief mourners leave first, followed by everyone else. If it is a burial, the coffin will be taken to the grave, where the minister will speak before the coffin is lowered into the grave.
In many cases, family and friends will get together for light refreshments. This may be at home or in a private room in a hotel or pub. In some areas, the funeral director will have rooms which you can use. .
At the crematorium you will find waiting rooms and toilets. Most churches do not have a toilet unless the church hall is open.
A funeral service is open to anyone, unless the family ask that it is a private ceremony. The funeral is an opportunity for family, friends and so on to say goodbye to the person who has died.